I plan to fight this war with humour
Mar. 20th, 2003 06:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
melwilOkay. It's possibly a bit nasty and a little mean - but I found myself to be funny - for those reasons I cut.
Channel Seven: “Welcome to Day One of the Olymp- no wait, the War on Iraq.” The entire war will be run like a major sporting carnival. Bruce Macavaney(?) will be calling all events - even those which he knows nothing about. They’re talking about a song by Nicki Webster as well, and Roy and HG will provide a wrap up at the end of each day.
Channel Ten: ”We’ll be back with the war in a minute, but first let’s go to Moira . . . what the . . !” Channel Ten is looking for the youth market. Heath Ledger will be giving commentary, while the crew from Secret life of Us make public service announcements. Meanwhile, Bert Newton will buy a new hair piece and then take it on Rove Live to parade it around . . . (no it has nothing to do with the war, but Channel Ten would have its two favourite celebrities on one show)
Channel Nine: “Excuse me, Saddam. I’m Mike Munro from A Current Affair. We have reason to believe that you have weapons of mass destruction hidden in your backyard” Later that night “Tonight on A Current Affair: Local Despots - are there weapons of mass destruction in *your* backyard?” Channel Nine is determined to get to the bottom of this affair. Expect Mike Munro (a pity job, after the anchoring went to Ray Martin) to be pounding the sidewalks of Baghdad, a camera crew in tow, door knocking until he gets the answers he wants. Alternately, Channel Nine could pull on all tricks. They promise us footage from the new war, but when interest gets high enough, they pull it and replace it with footage from the 1991 war.
SBS: SBS will give us a pretty decent view of the war. Of course, some of it will have subtitles, and every now and then we’ll be given gratuitous sex, nudity and soccer.
ABC: ABC will keep the war to Local Content rules (while fighting for them in the negotiations for an American Free Trade agreement). Once that is over, it’s BBC all the way.
Also. I wish for a peace of pie. Yummy and hopeful.
Channel Seven: “Welcome to Day One of the Olymp- no wait, the War on Iraq.” The entire war will be run like a major sporting carnival. Bruce Macavaney(?) will be calling all events - even those which he knows nothing about. They’re talking about a song by Nicki Webster as well, and Roy and HG will provide a wrap up at the end of each day.
Channel Ten: ”We’ll be back with the war in a minute, but first let’s go to Moira . . . what the . . !” Channel Ten is looking for the youth market. Heath Ledger will be giving commentary, while the crew from Secret life of Us make public service announcements. Meanwhile, Bert Newton will buy a new hair piece and then take it on Rove Live to parade it around . . . (no it has nothing to do with the war, but Channel Ten would have its two favourite celebrities on one show)
Channel Nine: “Excuse me, Saddam. I’m Mike Munro from A Current Affair. We have reason to believe that you have weapons of mass destruction hidden in your backyard” Later that night “Tonight on A Current Affair: Local Despots - are there weapons of mass destruction in *your* backyard?” Channel Nine is determined to get to the bottom of this affair. Expect Mike Munro (a pity job, after the anchoring went to Ray Martin) to be pounding the sidewalks of Baghdad, a camera crew in tow, door knocking until he gets the answers he wants. Alternately, Channel Nine could pull on all tricks. They promise us footage from the new war, but when interest gets high enough, they pull it and replace it with footage from the 1991 war.
SBS: SBS will give us a pretty decent view of the war. Of course, some of it will have subtitles, and every now and then we’ll be given gratuitous sex, nudity and soccer.
ABC: ABC will keep the war to Local Content rules (while fighting for them in the negotiations for an American Free Trade agreement). Once that is over, it’s BBC all the way.
Also. I wish for a peace of pie. Yummy and hopeful.
