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sangerin,
A Spooks fic just for you. Happy birthday!
Love Melina
**
Title: Alone with Nothingness
Author: MelWil
Fandom: Spooks/MI5
Rating: Somewhere between R and N17
Spoilers: None really.
Summary: Tessa reached out and placed an icy hand on Zoe's arm.
Note: A birthday present for the wonderful sangerin!
**
There was nothing.
She saw nothing, heard nothing, felt . . . nothing.
She told herself she could deal with the nothingness, that you didn't always have to feel something when you slept with someone. Nothingness was almost . . . expected, from time to time.
She told herself that Tessa was feeling the same way.
“Why, Zoe.” Tessa reached out and placed an icy hand on Zoe's arm. “I wasn't expecting to see you tonight.”
Zoe pulled away and wrapped her arms around herself and wondered how long Tessa would leave her standing in the rain. “I came . . . I had to . . . I needed to talk to you.”
Tessa leaned against the door, looking past Zoe out into the dark street. “Do you really want to talk to me, Zoe? Or did you come all the way here for some other reason?”
Her mouth was dry, despite the ice cold water running down the sides of her face. She wanted to move forward, to take the step, to get closer to Tessa. She wanted Tessa to hold her.
There were no pictures on the walls.
There was nothing to look at, nothing to capture her attention. There was nothing to distract her.
Zoe gasped, closing her eyes. She bit on her lower lip until she tasted the warm, tang of blood on her tongue.
Zoe held her breath as Tessa watched her. Suddenly Tessa stepped backwards, pulling Zoe through the door. Her movements were measured and strong and just a little too rough. Her face was motionless, with just a hint of a smile playing around her lips.
The Viper Look, Tom called it once; the look that Tessa always wears in the last moments before she strikes out. The moment that look flickers across her features, it's time to start worrying.
Tessa stepped back, away from Zoe, watching as she fumbled to shed her sodden coat. Watching as she let it fall in a sopping heap on the floor.
“You need to tell me why you came here, Zoe.” Her voice was low and calm, and Zoe began to see the trap being set for her.
Her mouth didn't seem to be working, she couldn't manage a word. She looked away, looked at the wall, looked at the puddles of water collecting on the floor. She wanted to tell Tessa the truth, wanted to lay out all her cards for Tessa to see. But she couldn't form the words.
She said nothing as her eyes met Tessa's.
Tessa smiled, the corners of her lips curling. She moved forward, in front of Zoe, her hands gripping tight above Zoe's elbows. Her mouth grazed the tip of Zoe's ear.
“You came to let me fuck you.”
There were angry red marks across her chest. Zoe let her fingers trace over them, again and again.
She couldn't remember who was responsible for them.
Tessa's mouth was warm and quick and hard. She pressed herself hard against Zoe; pressed Zoe up hard against the back of the door. Her fingers danced, swiftly moving through Zoe's hair, down the back of her neck, under the hem of her shirt, across her smooth stomach, over her breasts . . .
She pushed Zoe's shirt away, the buttons moving easily under her fingers, the damp material slipping back. She stepped backwards, away for a moment, and then forward again. She pushed Zoe's face to the side, covering her mouth with long, thin fingers. Zoe gasped, and the fingers fluttered away, from her mouth to her collarbone, to her chest.
Tessa pulled at her nipple and Zoe bit down on her lower lip. She squirmed as Tessa's hand tightened on her shoulder, as Tessa's foot slipped between her ankles.
“Oh, Zoe.” Tessa chuckled as her fingers fluttered from one breast to the other. “You're so . . . predictable. You're just so very, very easy to play.”
She rolled to the edge of her bed, dangling her feet over the edge. She looked behind her at the empty, rumpled bed and wondered where Tessa disappeared to.
She wondered if she was all alone.
They moved together, backwards, towards the bedroom. Zoe breathes deeply, and Tessa's perfume was intoxicating. Zoe let the fragrance fill her head, let it taker over as she slipped Tessa's blouse off her shoulders.
“You're . . .” Zoe struggled for the words, feeling as if she's allowed half a bottle of vodka to go to her head. “You're intoxicating.”
Tessa laughed, and her laugh echoed, bouncing off the walls, surrounding them. She clung to Zoe, hands running over her hips, the curve of her back side, pulling up her skirt. She stopped momentarily, her tongue slipping over her lips.
“Why don't you come to me more often?”
There was no one else in the apartment.
Zoe felt a shiver creep up her spine, and for a moment wondered if this was all there was.
She wondered what she was supposed to do, what was expected of her.
She wondered why she was there.
Tessa laughed as they tumbled onto the bed. She threw random pieces of clothing across the room, watching as they fell in unusual places. She grabbed Zoe's hand and pushed her, pulled her – forward, back. Forward and back.
Tessa kissed too hard and Zoe fell into the soft pillows. Her back arched, her breasts pushed towards the ceiling. Tessa's mouth was too quick, too hard, and she moved quickly from shoulder to breast, to hip, to thigh. Her hands pushed Zoe's legs apart – her tongue was swift and commanding.
She was in total control.
Tessa was always in control.
Zoe dressed slowly, her muscles aching with every piece of clothing. She examined her reflection in the bathroom mirror, smoothing her hair and wondering if she was presentable enough to venture outside.
Tessa fell asleep quickly, in the centre of the bed, the sheets twisted tight around her legs. Zoe turned to watch her, unable – unwilling – to sleep.
Tessa had some kind of hold over her, something she couldn't explain. And as hard as Zoe tried to stay away, she knew it was impossible. She would continue to return, again, and again, and again.
It was the way it was meant to be.
She stood in the doorway, shielding her eyes against the light. She felt lighter, as if she'd lost something, left something behind. She closed her eyes for a moment, hearing Tessa's voice filling her head.
She would never really be alone.
sangerin,A Spooks fic just for you. Happy birthday!
Love Melina
**
Title: Alone with Nothingness
Author: MelWil
Fandom: Spooks/MI5
Rating: Somewhere between R and N17
Spoilers: None really.
Summary: Tessa reached out and placed an icy hand on Zoe's arm.
Note: A birthday present for the wonderful sangerin!
**
There was nothing.
She saw nothing, heard nothing, felt . . . nothing.
She told herself she could deal with the nothingness, that you didn't always have to feel something when you slept with someone. Nothingness was almost . . . expected, from time to time.
She told herself that Tessa was feeling the same way.
“Why, Zoe.” Tessa reached out and placed an icy hand on Zoe's arm. “I wasn't expecting to see you tonight.”
Zoe pulled away and wrapped her arms around herself and wondered how long Tessa would leave her standing in the rain. “I came . . . I had to . . . I needed to talk to you.”
Tessa leaned against the door, looking past Zoe out into the dark street. “Do you really want to talk to me, Zoe? Or did you come all the way here for some other reason?”
Her mouth was dry, despite the ice cold water running down the sides of her face. She wanted to move forward, to take the step, to get closer to Tessa. She wanted Tessa to hold her.
There were no pictures on the walls.
There was nothing to look at, nothing to capture her attention. There was nothing to distract her.
Zoe gasped, closing her eyes. She bit on her lower lip until she tasted the warm, tang of blood on her tongue.
Zoe held her breath as Tessa watched her. Suddenly Tessa stepped backwards, pulling Zoe through the door. Her movements were measured and strong and just a little too rough. Her face was motionless, with just a hint of a smile playing around her lips.
The Viper Look, Tom called it once; the look that Tessa always wears in the last moments before she strikes out. The moment that look flickers across her features, it's time to start worrying.
Tessa stepped back, away from Zoe, watching as she fumbled to shed her sodden coat. Watching as she let it fall in a sopping heap on the floor.
“You need to tell me why you came here, Zoe.” Her voice was low and calm, and Zoe began to see the trap being set for her.
Her mouth didn't seem to be working, she couldn't manage a word. She looked away, looked at the wall, looked at the puddles of water collecting on the floor. She wanted to tell Tessa the truth, wanted to lay out all her cards for Tessa to see. But she couldn't form the words.
She said nothing as her eyes met Tessa's.
Tessa smiled, the corners of her lips curling. She moved forward, in front of Zoe, her hands gripping tight above Zoe's elbows. Her mouth grazed the tip of Zoe's ear.
“You came to let me fuck you.”
There were angry red marks across her chest. Zoe let her fingers trace over them, again and again.
She couldn't remember who was responsible for them.
Tessa's mouth was warm and quick and hard. She pressed herself hard against Zoe; pressed Zoe up hard against the back of the door. Her fingers danced, swiftly moving through Zoe's hair, down the back of her neck, under the hem of her shirt, across her smooth stomach, over her breasts . . .
She pushed Zoe's shirt away, the buttons moving easily under her fingers, the damp material slipping back. She stepped backwards, away for a moment, and then forward again. She pushed Zoe's face to the side, covering her mouth with long, thin fingers. Zoe gasped, and the fingers fluttered away, from her mouth to her collarbone, to her chest.
Tessa pulled at her nipple and Zoe bit down on her lower lip. She squirmed as Tessa's hand tightened on her shoulder, as Tessa's foot slipped between her ankles.
“Oh, Zoe.” Tessa chuckled as her fingers fluttered from one breast to the other. “You're so . . . predictable. You're just so very, very easy to play.”
She rolled to the edge of her bed, dangling her feet over the edge. She looked behind her at the empty, rumpled bed and wondered where Tessa disappeared to.
She wondered if she was all alone.
They moved together, backwards, towards the bedroom. Zoe breathes deeply, and Tessa's perfume was intoxicating. Zoe let the fragrance fill her head, let it taker over as she slipped Tessa's blouse off her shoulders.
“You're . . .” Zoe struggled for the words, feeling as if she's allowed half a bottle of vodka to go to her head. “You're intoxicating.”
Tessa laughed, and her laugh echoed, bouncing off the walls, surrounding them. She clung to Zoe, hands running over her hips, the curve of her back side, pulling up her skirt. She stopped momentarily, her tongue slipping over her lips.
“Why don't you come to me more often?”
There was no one else in the apartment.
Zoe felt a shiver creep up her spine, and for a moment wondered if this was all there was.
She wondered what she was supposed to do, what was expected of her.
She wondered why she was there.
Tessa laughed as they tumbled onto the bed. She threw random pieces of clothing across the room, watching as they fell in unusual places. She grabbed Zoe's hand and pushed her, pulled her – forward, back. Forward and back.
Tessa kissed too hard and Zoe fell into the soft pillows. Her back arched, her breasts pushed towards the ceiling. Tessa's mouth was too quick, too hard, and she moved quickly from shoulder to breast, to hip, to thigh. Her hands pushed Zoe's legs apart – her tongue was swift and commanding.
She was in total control.
Tessa was always in control.
Zoe dressed slowly, her muscles aching with every piece of clothing. She examined her reflection in the bathroom mirror, smoothing her hair and wondering if she was presentable enough to venture outside.
Tessa fell asleep quickly, in the centre of the bed, the sheets twisted tight around her legs. Zoe turned to watch her, unable – unwilling – to sleep.
Tessa had some kind of hold over her, something she couldn't explain. And as hard as Zoe tried to stay away, she knew it was impossible. She would continue to return, again, and again, and again.
It was the way it was meant to be.
She stood in the doorway, shielding her eyes against the light. She felt lighter, as if she'd lost something, left something behind. She closed her eyes for a moment, hearing Tessa's voice filling her head.
She would never really be alone.