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Slowly Going Completely and Totally MAD
May. 26th, 2003 04:25 pmPeople like me shouldn't live on their own. I'm slowly going mad without the thought of talking to people. I'm very glad that Kelly stayed for a while at work, because even though I didn't talk much to her - I knew she was there to talk to if the need grabbed me.
(Although I really could have done without the annoying customer types when I was trying to 'drizzle' chille)
I woke up at 6am this morning thanks to my grandparent's alarm clock/radio. Even though I'd had almost 7 hours sleep, I decided that my warm bed was just too good, the news was boring and I was quite fine sleeping until 7am thank you very much.
I also had a whopping bad stomach ache and I'm not sure what from although it's probably stress. It developed into travel sickness on the bus and then overwhelming nausea whenever I smelt hot/warm food. Kelly took one look at me and cut my hours down by 1 and 1/2. That was fine by me, because all I wanted to do was come home, curl up in bed and have a good cry.
I'm trying to tell myself that I'm feeling more positive today, that I caught public transport with no difficulties, did a good job at work today and have no plans for tomorrow - but I'm not sure that I'm doing myself much good. But Buffy's on tonight so that might help. Maybe. Otherwise there's still half a bottle of last night's wine out in the kitchen and half a packet of biscuits to go with it.
Leaving this open so I can edit it later . . .
(BTW -![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kimberly_a says that she sometimes scans her friends list looking for mentions of herself. I wanted to mention this because she's not the only one.)
ETA
Just let Kimmy know that I won't be able to move in with her sister. I just can't live in another set of temporary circumstances and I've learnt that mixing up accomodation with friends or family of friends is a one way ticket to losing people you like and admire. Also, Matt and I are having some issues of the 'we don't see each other enough' kind with the 'you live too far away' remix and really want to move in together. I feel terrible, but with the depression I'm suffering this week, I need to do something that makes me feel good, not something that placates people and leaves me feeling empty.
Have also handed the position of Secretary of the HP club over to Kimmy, because I believe that a)her organisational skills are good enough to put the club on the right track, b) I was ineffective in that role while my life is so screwed up, c) I need to get myself back into the real world - where you can enjoy things without being obsessed. If you want an official letter of resignation from me, please let me know.
That goes to fan fiction as well. I'm finishing up the redux for HP and then putting it aside. I might finish Liz's beta too - when she stops holding my red shoes and Nick Cave CD to ransom.
(Although I really could have done without the annoying customer types when I was trying to 'drizzle' chille)
I woke up at 6am this morning thanks to my grandparent's alarm clock/radio. Even though I'd had almost 7 hours sleep, I decided that my warm bed was just too good, the news was boring and I was quite fine sleeping until 7am thank you very much.
I also had a whopping bad stomach ache and I'm not sure what from although it's probably stress. It developed into travel sickness on the bus and then overwhelming nausea whenever I smelt hot/warm food. Kelly took one look at me and cut my hours down by 1 and 1/2. That was fine by me, because all I wanted to do was come home, curl up in bed and have a good cry.
I'm trying to tell myself that I'm feeling more positive today, that I caught public transport with no difficulties, did a good job at work today and have no plans for tomorrow - but I'm not sure that I'm doing myself much good. But Buffy's on tonight so that might help. Maybe. Otherwise there's still half a bottle of last night's wine out in the kitchen and half a packet of biscuits to go with it.
Leaving this open so I can edit it later . . .
(BTW -
kimberly_a says that she sometimes scans her friends list looking for mentions of herself. I wanted to mention this because she's not the only one.)ETA
Just let Kimmy know that I won't be able to move in with her sister. I just can't live in another set of temporary circumstances and I've learnt that mixing up accomodation with friends or family of friends is a one way ticket to losing people you like and admire. Also, Matt and I are having some issues of the 'we don't see each other enough' kind with the 'you live too far away' remix and really want to move in together. I feel terrible, but with the depression I'm suffering this week, I need to do something that makes me feel good, not something that placates people and leaves me feeling empty.
Have also handed the position of Secretary of the HP club over to Kimmy, because I believe that a)her organisational skills are good enough to put the club on the right track, b) I was ineffective in that role while my life is so screwed up, c) I need to get myself back into the real world - where you can enjoy things without being obsessed. If you want an official letter of resignation from me, please let me know.
That goes to fan fiction as well. I'm finishing up the redux for HP and then putting it aside. I might finish Liz's beta too - when she stops holding my red shoes and Nick Cave CD to ransom.
