melwil: (Default)
melwil ([personal profile] melwil) wrote2006-10-10 07:17 am

Australian Citizen Verification Test (as written by Andrew McGahan)

This the the Australian Citizen Verification Test*. There are seven questions. Failure to answer all seven correctly will have consequences**:

1. 'What was Don Bradman's batting average?'

2. 'What line follows this one from Banjo Paterson's 'The Man From Snowy River': There was movement at the station . . . ?'

3. 'On what date does Anzac Week begin?'

4. 'Which country has repeatedly threatened the Australian environment by carrying out nuclear tests in the Pacific?'

5. 'What did most Aborigines die of after Australia was settled?'

6. 'Where did the criminal bushranger Ned Kelly murder three innocent policeman?'

7. 'Who bowled the underarm ball, and was it legal?'

"Now recite the Australian Oath of Loyalty . . . "


*This is satire, of course. For the moment. I told you to read Andrew McGahan's Underground
**Long hours of listening to our Delta, watching the movies starring 'our Mel and Rusty' and watching cricket test match repeats.
ext_6531: (Random: Bush/Howard: more canonical)

[identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com 2006-10-10 07:55 am (UTC)(link)
5. 'What did most Aborigines die of after Australia was settled?'

Don't be silly. There were hardly any Aborigines in Australia before it was settled! And if any died, it was probably of old age, or joy at having access to western civilisation, or something.

*pets you* I understand. It's that Maoist conspiracy in the education department. It's okay. Unca John will make it all better.

[identity profile] melwil.livejournal.com 2006-10-10 08:00 am (UTC)(link)
You really should read this book - it's funny and horrifying all at the same time

[identity profile] sangerin.livejournal.com 2006-10-10 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
Seeya. I'm moving back to Minnesota.

[identity profile] melwil.livejournal.com 2006-10-10 08:29 am (UTC)(link)
Ahhh, but in the book the President and the Prime Minister are still best friends, and things aren't much better there *g*

Seems like Canada is the place to be *g*

[identity profile] sangerin.livejournal.com 2006-10-10 08:32 am (UTC)(link)
I thought about saying "or possibly Ontario", but as long as MN doesn't pass the anti-gay-marriage amendment (I'm not sure it even made it to the ballot) I'll stick with my home state and ignore the rest of the country. I saw Prairie Home Companion last night, and oh, I miss MN so much!

[identity profile] thesc.livejournal.com 2006-10-10 09:11 am (UTC)(link)
4. France
5. They died of disease of course (you know the disease that makes white people shoot black ones when they don't move fast enough.)
6. stringybark creek (And we sing poor ned you're better off dead...)
7. trevor chappel - and bloody oath it was

Australian oath of loyalty - that would be the one that goes:

We're happy little vegemites as bright as bright can be...


I read the book today in one sitting. It is brilliant!

[identity profile] melwil.livejournal.com 2006-10-10 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I read it in one sitting too - I just couldn't put it down.

And I knew you'd enjoy it.